


Road to Recovery

by LizAnn_5869



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Anger, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Medical Emergency, Rose is stressed, The Doctor is injured, emotional hurt /comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 20:43:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9402182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizAnn_5869/pseuds/LizAnn_5869
Summary: Following a Torchwood mission gone wrong, Tentoo and Rose find themselves dealing  with the physical and emotional fallout.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hanluvr (Bria)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bria/gifts).



> For Hanluvr, who prompted "I almost lost you."

The Doctor’s one heart wasn't beating, she could see the flat line on the monitor, could feel Jake holding her back. She could smell the smoke, practically taste death in the air. It felt like an out-of body experience, watching the EMTs forcing air into the Doctor's lungs. "Clear," the one with gray hair ordered (Rose couldn't remember his name, she could barely remember her own.) 

They shocked him. 

Time Lords have this trick to cheat death, she heard a northern accented voice in her head say. 

"Not anymore," she whispered.

"C'mon, Doctor, come on," Jake chanted. She tried to pull away again, but Jake just gripped her tighter. 

The line spiked. Then it spiked again. Rose's legs went weak and Jake was lowering her to the ground. "You're bleedin', Rose, let 'em look...."

She stood up, shaking, unable to explain that her legs gave out not because of injury, but because the Doctor's heart was beating again. 

"M'fine," she muttered, running the short distance across the field to the Doctor's side. She knelt on the ground by him, grasping his hand. It didn't escape her attention that his heart rate steadied from the contact. 

The EMT didn't realize it, however. "Tyler, move, we gotta get him in the transport," he growled.

Prescott. His name was Prescott. The glare she shot Prescott clearly reminded with whom he was talking. He let her ride in the transport. 

******

Thus began the longest two weeks of their lives. He endured emergency surgery for internal injuries. Three days in he spiked a high fever and he probably wouldn't have survived had it not been for his part-Time Lord physiology. When the fever broke, he'd never felt more human, achy and tired and slow. He was unable to stay awake for long that first week, and by the second he was restless and bored but too weak and exhausted to do much about it.

Rose stayed by his side constantly ,even when Jackie tried to cajole her to go home and rest, since she was also injured. When he was finally sent home two weeks later, everyone was relieved. 

******

The Doctor was moving more slowly than he was used to but he was upright, and that was what counted. Even if he had to lean against the wall while Rose unlocked the door.

Rose opened the door, and moved out of the way to let the Doctor in. He started to pick up his bag but she stopped him. He glared at her, she stood her ground. "I've got this! You go sit down. Mum sent banana bread. Want some?"

The Doctor's pout faded at the words "banana bread" just as Rose predicted. He followed her into the flat. He was visibly relieved to be home. "Never thought I'd be so happy to see curtains and doors and walls," he murmured. "I'll sit down in a mo, Rose. Is the...."

"The TARDIS is still at Mum and Dad's. They took good care of her. I'll run by and get the tank later."

"Oh," he muttered, unable to hide his disappointment. 

Rose bristled. "S'not like I had time to go over there. Been busy. Have a seat on the sofa and get comfortable."

The Doctor sat, silenced. For the first week after his surgery, Rose had been alternately attentive and weepy. She was in pain herself, and he worried. She brushed off his concern. 

By the second week, she was just as attentive but the weeping had been replaced by a frostiness. He had the distinct feeling that she was distancing herself and he had a sinking feeling he knew why. 

The Doctor was no longer fully a Time Lord, obviously. He couldn't regenerate, he was just one of them, with a rubbish body and a short lifespan and that is not what Rose signed up for. It had taken eight months and a near death experience for her to realize this, but she was distancing herself because really, she didn't want the human him. 

If he hadn't been in pain and exhausted he probably would have told himself to stop being ridiculous, and just ask her what was going on, but he retained the stubbornness of a Time Lord, full strength. If that's what he thought was going on, then that's what was happening. 

They ate in silence. Rose seemed about to say something several times during the meal but thought better of it. 

He could see that she was exhausted, so finally, to give her a break from being his nurse, he told her, "Take a kip, Rose. There's nobody who needs it more than you. Go sleep, in the bed, not here on the sofa."

"You come too," she requested. 

"I've had enough of bed."

She sighed, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose. "Come with me? Please? Don't think I can sleep without you." 

In the end he followed her to their room because he could never say no to her. It took a while to find a comfortable position and Rose tended to him, making sure he could rest. It didn't quash any of the Doctor's worries. Both of them drifted off into uneasy rest.

*****

 

Rose woke up first, rolling over to her back, staring up at the ceiling. The Doctor had stirred in his sleep, waking her. She reckoned she wouldn't sleep the night straight through until he was fully healed. She'd fallen back into her habit, from the dimension cannon days, of being able to fully waken at the slightest noise. Her body was on guard, and she wouldn't go back to sleep any time soon. 

Rose was exhausted, despite her body being at attention. Her thoughts were dark and chaotic. She had hoped, once he returned home, that things would return to normal right away. They were home, together, as it should be. But his injuries had been severe, and normal was a long way off.

Rose felt tears threatening, for about the millionth time since he'd been injured. She was thankful to have him home, there was no doubt about that. She'd watched him nearly die in a field by a burning extraterrestrial ship. It had been such a close call. They had managed to survive it all.

Now, after the stress of his hospitalization, she found her mind turning to the events immediately preceding the explosion. 

Rose didn't want to be angry with the Doctor, but she was. She was properly furious with him for tricking her into leaving him alone in the alien ship.$ And because she loved him so, and she was so relieved to have him home, she felt horribly guilty for being angry. 

She started crying yet again, and she was so sick of sobbing. She tried to be silent but she felt the Doctor stir beside her. Rose muttered a swear.

"Rose?" the Doctor murmured. "Are you okay?"

"M'fine," she said flatly.

"No, you're not, Rose. Is it your shoulder? I could go get...."

"You can barely move, you're not gettin’ anything," she snapped, then immediately felt horrible. "S'not my shoulder," she added in a gentler tone. 

The Doctor huffed an exasperated breath. “You're not fine,” he scoffed.

That was the straw the broke the camel’s back. Rose found herself suddenly and angrily shouting at the man she loved. “Oh, I'm not, am I? I suppose you're the expert on being ‘fine.’ You've used that shit line on me enough. And where do you get off tellin' me how I feel? Is it the same impulse that causes you to send me away when the goin' gets tough?” She hated how harsh she sounded. She hated that she was responsible for his hurt, gobsmacked expression, especially when he was so vulnerable. Still she went on, barely taking time for a breath. “You sent me away! You tricked me, just like the Game Station, just like that bloody dimension hopper you forced on me at Canary Wharf! Three times now. I've known three yous and all three have tried to make my decisions for me!”

The Doctor raised up on an elbow, wincing. He interrupted anyway. “I love you. I have always, since I wore leather. Every single time it was because I loved you too much to see you killed. Every single damned time, Rose.”

Rose held her ground. “And every single damned time I proved to you that we're better together.” She surprised him with a harsh, bitter laugh. “Well, maybe not that last time. By the time I realized you tricked me the ship was about to explode and I didn't get back fast enough. Had I been there with you the whole time..".

The Doctor interjected, “You would have been badly injured. Or killed.” He fell back onto the pillow, unable to hold himself up. Despite the pain and exhaustion he held eye contact with Rose.

“How the bloody hell do you know? I could've ‘elped you get the code programmed faster. We could have sent the Vastacharians back without them retaliatin’. You didn't have time to do it alone. You're constantly underestimatin’ my abilities.”

“That's unfair! I do not underestimate you. I saw you reduce a Dalek fleet to dust. I know you can do anything you put your mind to. But I am not going to stand by and watch you die!”

“So I'm better off watchin’ you die?” Rose asked flatly, her voice trembling. “I've seen you regenerate. Twice now. And I watched the medics shock you until your heart started again.” She burst into tears at the memory, covering her eyes.

The Doctor pulled himself into a sitting position and pulled Rose into his arms. He kissed her temple. He whispered, “I'm sorry. So, so sorry.”

“I almost lost you,” she gasped. “I get it, I swear I do. I know how you feel. There’s no ‘get out of death free card’ for you anymore. I'd lose you forever. I'd much rather face danger together than havin’ you send me away because you can't stand to lose me! Because you will. You will lose me, and it won't be because I've died.”

The Doctor pulled back from her, eyes filled with tears. He was shattered, and Rose’s heart went out to him. She embraced him, rocking him back and forth. “You don't need this from me now. You're still recovering. I'm sorry….”

The Doctor shook his head fiercely. “It needed saying, Rose.” 

 

In Rose’s mind she was transported back to a cold, windswept beach, and she heard an identical voice ask, “Does it need saying?” Different question, to be sure, but it was powerful to hear this Doctor acknowledge her feelings. At that moment she felt a weight lifted off her shoulders. He was listening, at least. 

Or at least she thought he was. “This is not what you signed up for, to play nurse for me. I'm not even fully Time Lord anymore. You don't want this. It's you who doesn't need this from me……”

Rose gaped at him. “What the hell are you even talking about?”

“I'm not what you wanted. It's clear. You didn't ask for any of this. You're withdrawing, I can tell.”

“I've been proper angry at you, you plum, and hatin’ myself for bein’ angry with you!” Rose nearly shouted, shocked by his admission. 

“Rose, you don't need this, this rubbish body...this taking care of me….”

“This loving you? I beg to differ, I need it very much. Here you go again, thinking you can make my decisions for me! Now stop feeling sorry for yourself, Doctor, and listen to me! I love you. We are one. You and I ‘ave been one since the end of the bleedin’ world, even if we were too stupid to admit it back then. We are better together. Just don't send me away when the goin’ gets rough. That's all I ask.”

“Rose Tyler, I can't promise you that won't do everything in my power to keep you safe,” he began huskily, groaning as he attempted to get comfortable. 

“Doctor, stop, we’ll talk later, you're in pain.”

He shook his head again. “I'll be in pain later too. I need to say this to you now. I couldn't send you away again. I won't. I made a huge mistake sending you away.”

The effort it took for the Doctor to admit that was not lost on Rose. “We're on a level playin’ field now, Doctor. Any crisis we face could be our last. I'd much rather face it together than havin’ you send me away because you can't stand to lose me. And please, please don't think that you're any less because you're part-human. I love you. I love your one heart and your myopic eyes and everything.” She clasped his right hand and kissed the back of it. “And this hand. And I'm so so, grateful that you're here with me.”

He gave her a watery smile and she kissed his forehead tenderly. “I love you, Rose Tyler,” he murmured. 

“Do you believe me, Doctor? I know you're quick to think the worst of yourself. Well, I think I have the best of you.”

She curled up next to him and carefully lay her arm across his chest. It took a few minutes for him to answer her, as he was struggling with his emotions. “I believe you,” he whispered. “And even more- I believe in you.”

Rose raised her head to kiss him gently. “I believe in us, together.”

“I'm sorry, I’m so….”

“No more apologies, love. S’okay.”

He nodded, and raised up to kiss her. 

******  
They had some lasagna Jake sent over to them. They ate their fill, and the Doctor decided to read on the sofa for a while. “I'll likely fall asleep. Time was, if I was injured, I'd go into a restorative coma, and I'd be good as new when I awakened.”

“Like that Christmas?”

“Exactly. Except now I won't be as good as new. That's gonna take time. That's part of my frustration, Rose. I can't heal like I used to.”

He collapsed into the couch. She handed him his copy of "The Mystery of Edwin Drood." Think of it this way. At least now you have time to finish your book.”

He smiled up at her. “At least I have time with you.” She sank down next to him, snuggling into his side. 

“If you don't mind, I think I'll sit with you. I can pick up the TARDIS a bit later.”

“Begrudgingly I will agree. But I do want to see our TARDIS soon. I suppose I could look at this convalescence as extra time to tinker with her.”

Rose settled in next to the Doctor. “That’s the spirit!” she encouraged. 

“Could result in a big mess, you might want to be careful what you wish for,” he said with a smirk.

Rose smiled, and for the first time in those two long weeks, she felt the genuine emotion behind the smile. “Wouldn't have it any other way, my Doctor.” 

It didn't take them long, both exhausted by injury and emotional trauma as they were, to fall asleep. It was the deepest sleep Rose had experienced since before they were injured.

*********

Her mobile buzzed, and Rose startled awake, She grabbed it before the Doctor’s rest was disturbed. 

“Hi, sweetheart, are you two okay? Haven't heard from you all day. M’worried sick,” Jackie blurted.

“We're taking it easy. Everything’s fine,” Rose assured her, looking back at her Doctor, asleep on the sofa with his book open across his chest and his glasses still on.

“Are you sure? Things didn't seem so great when you left the hospital. You both should have come here. We could set up a room, make sure the Doctor has whatever he needs to get better. And you...you could use some help, too, you're so glum right now. You shouldn't have all the burden of care when you're injured yourself. I really wish you hadn't gone back to your flat.”

Rose rolled her eyes. She loved how protective her mother was of both of them, but sometimes it was a bit much. “We would have had the same problems there as here. Anyway...we talked. Fought a bit, really. We haven't solved everything, but things are lookin’ up..”

“Well, good. At least you got it all out in the open, whatever it was. The pair of you looked miserable. Do you need anything? I could send some food over or...just whatever you need.”

“I know, and you've already been such a big help. I'll be by later to pick up the TARDIS.”

Rose could hear the relief in Jackie’s voice. “Oh, good….I didn't mind takin’ care of it, I really didn't….but I've worried that I was gonna kill it for two weeks now. And I get the creeps around it. It’s like it's watchin’ me.”

Rose chuckled. “She could be watchin’ you. I don't know what stage her development is at the moment.”

“Blimey,” Jackie gasped.

“I'll be over soon.”

“Good. Give that plum my love.”

“I will. I think...we're both finally on the road to recovery.” 

After Rose rang off with her mother she went back to the sofa. She gently removed the Doctor’s specs and closed the book. Sitting down beside him, Rose rested her head on his shoulder and clasped his hand. He shifted so he was cuddling closer and he mumbled something in his sleep. The road to recovery seemed long, but for the first time since the incident it didn't seem an insurmountable distance. Rose was glad to have some hope. She, like the Doctor, rather liked hope.


End file.
